Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
