I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
