my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
