I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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