I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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