mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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