You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
