I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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