yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
