I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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