I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize