I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
