wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
