He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
