Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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