Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
