I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
