Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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