if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
