just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
