I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
