i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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