if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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