My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
