Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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