I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
