I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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