I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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