Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
