I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
