windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want her autograph on my taint
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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