Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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