you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
