u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
