Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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