...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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