she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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