it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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