I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
