We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
