I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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