Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize