I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who died my cat blue again?
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