if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Come see our sink grown plant.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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