break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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