come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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