your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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