If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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