can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
