He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just cropdusted the office
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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