we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
