Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
