a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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