so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize