My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
