He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
