I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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