I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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