Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
