sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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