i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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